Bullying, or what we call bullying is an issue that arouses much today generates social sensitivity and different questions. While we are not facing a new phenomenon, he has long remained hidden and silent by damaging not only to those affected, but the entire educational community. Today the great dissemination of information on the issue has become a priority issue on the agendas of schools and a recurring concern for many parents and teachers.
However, it is common to hear erroneous statements on the subject, many of which receive little or no support when it comes to contrast with the empirical data. These false arguments include the assumption that bullying is a problem of the school itself, a consequence of the course is large, or otherwise, of a class with few students.
Other assumptions made responsible to competition can be created in the classroom as a trigger, as well as poor grades, a very poor self-esteem or a low sense of security and confidence. In fact, it is often the low value attributed to the harasser’s self to explain their behavior.
Today, research tells us that many of them have very high self-esteem, who are satisfied with themselves and the fact that disturb others the better positions in their group membership. That is, in most cases, the bullying has to do with more or less self-esteem but with the fact of having power and authority over other students.
In turn, mistakenly believed that students are overweight, those who wear glasses, have a different ethnic origin, or speak in a language which more easily become targets for victims. What is known is that these physical conditions and characteristics of domination are not as relevant in understanding bullying, as the perception of weakness that has the harassed child about himself. Those explanations that emphasize classical physical appearances are just prejudices that must be eradicated.
All these arguments put, ultimately, focus on a single cause to explain the harassment, when we know that it is a multi-causal phenomenon that develops from the association of different risk factors, combined, generate more likelihood that a child suffers bullying, as well as another to become a bully.
We could list countless myths “harassment are just jokes and teasing,” “stalkers go away if you ignore them”, “the best way to defend yourself is to strike back,” among others. So even statements like “bullying is a normal part of the school-age children.” These are just myths that must be banished in order to understand the importance of the issue, so we can act appropriately and especially time.
The role of adults
Make fun of someone, they get with it, the shame in public, threatening the harassing, the insult, hurt him and gain something reiterated this time is not a normal part of development of a child, nor something that adults should accept and normalize as “something that will no longer happen.” The reality is that as parents, teachers and professionals: we need to engage.
To all those parents who have a child who is in this situation, we recommend applying the rule of the 3Rs:
* Strengthening information: investigates what happens, delves into the school life of the child. If your child tells you he is being harassed and not disqualify this statement, ask more about it. In case you have any evidence (for example, any indication of cyberbullying) stores this information and make yourself quickly contact and direct school teachers to work together to stop this happens. If the child is very anxious or manifest intense fear, it is important to do a consultation with a health professional.
* Reinforcing the link: plans and increases the moment of positive attention to your child. It is essential not criticize if not agree on how you handled a situation. Instead, encourage him to express his feelings, give permission to vent and comment you honestly how you feel. It is important that my child feel supported by their parents, and that they are sympathetic to their pain and problems. I established a channel of communication and trust. All children (even those who show otherwise) need to feel that their parents listen and care about them.
* Strengthening the self-esteem: a child who is being bullied has a decreased vision itself. Therefore, the parent must take care to show otherwise. One of the ways is helping to find and develop friendships and other relationships with peers outside of school through activities and groups. Also, I pay special attention to your skills and strengths and not miss the opportunity to reinforce and strengthen them.
Having the right information about the nature of bullying to banish myths is a fundamental step to intervene properly. It is necessary that responsible adults (parents and teachers) must be made aware that the problem exists, it is much more common than it seems, be aware of that may have consequences and that we must intervene, do it accurately and on time right, because as other situations where there is chronic discomfort if not stopped in time can grow even more.